meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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