Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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