Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
