he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
