So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
