Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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