Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
