He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
