i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
