shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
