I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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