Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
