I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
