You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
