she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
