the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
