Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
