nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I pour the whiskey from now on
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