dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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