Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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