this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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