You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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