you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
