singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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