a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced