One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS