Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.