I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
