wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
