Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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