I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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