Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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