sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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