We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it was like eating out sand paper
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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