But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He uses pillows to masturbate.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
