I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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