Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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