She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
