I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
