My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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