I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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