Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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