He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They have beer where we have blood.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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