I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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