just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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