your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please, let me fuck your mom
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
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So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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