You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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