I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
