i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
