Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
