She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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