did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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