I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
