how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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