Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just gargled with NyQuil
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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