please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize