I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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