Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
