So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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