Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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