i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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