Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
