I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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