I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
