I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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