I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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