Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
even my farts smell like vagina
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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